Facing self-doubt in my leopard suit

When my daughter was little, maybe three or four, she made up a song about me with the lyrics, “Mommy wears her leopard suit, leopard suit, leopard suit…” She’s always had a flair for the dramatic, and I’ve always loved a good leopard print.

Despite the fact that the fashion industry tells us every few years that leopard print is “in,” it has been around forever and never really goes out of style.

Just like believing in yourself.

It’s always “in,” but it’s damn hard sometimes. My ego has served me up a big dose of self-doubt lately, and I really have no idea why. Perhaps it’s because I am about to finish my latest course of study and be named a Visionary Psychic. I want to live up to that title! Or maybe it’s just a general darkness-of-winter-in-Covid-time funk. Whatever the reason, I’ve needed a self-confidence boost lately, and leopard has been by my side.

I’m always fascinated when an animal ally appears. Sometimes I see the actual animal, sometimes I see it in meditation, or sometimes I run across it another way. In this case from the spontaneous memory of a child’s made-up song. Then I do some research. Here’s one item I read about leopard from uniguide.com: “As a symbol of strength, the leopard inspires us to believe that we can handle much more than we initially think we can. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you think, ‘How am I going to get over this?’ or ‘How am I going to do this?’ The leopard replies, ‘With the sheer force of your will. Believe.’”

It feels good to have forceful leopard magic to draw on when I need a shot of self-assurance. But humans are powerful beings in our own right, and one difference between us and leopards is a critically thinking mind. It comes in handy at times, but it can be a nuisance when our thoughts are lying to us. Since our thoughts drive our reality, believing we are confident actually makes us more confident. Science even proves this. According to David R. Hamilton, Ph.D., author of the book Why Woo-Woo Works, “…there’s no question that belief causes chemical changes in the brain, and these changes are dependent on what a person believes.” So, leopard energy = self-confidence for me.

And if suddenly remembering the leopard song wasn’t enough synchronicity, I signed up for an online Qoya class Sunday morning not knowing that the theme was going to be The Power of Believing. We danced our relationship to believing during this time that has given so many of our dreams and our confidence a beating. During the class, we moved to a song with the prompt, “how does it feel in your body when someone else believes in you?” I danced that entire song remembering in my body how much my daughter believed in me when she was a little girl. As much as she probably believes in me now. The Universe had generously given me two more tools for healing self-doubt: 1. listening to what my body tells me, and 2. believing in myself just as much as someone else does.

And wearing the leopard suit wields its own authority. Recently, I had to have a difficult conversation. I was anticipating push-back and really wanted to stay in the vibration of love, rather than sink into my emotions. I wanted to feel strong. I was nervous; therefore, I wore my leopard pants. Yes, actual leopard-print pants to remind me that I am a unique and powerful being. (I think that’s kind of like wearing your big-girl panties.) Anyway, it worked. The conversation flowed, and each of us got what we needed.

So, I have my leopard suit. I also have my song. I have proof that they work. The only thing left to do is believe.

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Jennifer Reeve

I am  a healing guide, a space holder and a reflector of your sacred light. My aim is to help you connect with your wild, expansive Divine essence so you may freely share your gifts with the world. I offer intuitive readings, non-touch energy healings, embodiment practices, nature connection and sacred ceremony. It would be my honor to guide you toward your expansion.

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